if my life was a porno id understand why I keep getting screwed

Subject:	cut your head of despite your shoulders
Time:	2:20 am.
Mood:	amused.
Music:	bright eyes \| first day of my life.

i know i said id never come back & for those of you who'd like to say addiction id call it more of a boredom time passer. that & the blog in myspace is not cutting it. especially not for getting my art out there. I feel like I am not doing my paintings any justice by not displaying them to millions of peoples friends pages. not like ive done an art show in forever. infact, i barely started painting again and already dont have time for it.

either way, I changed my major. I am still going into broadcasting. Getting my first degree and going into radio to put me through med school to become a sexual-psychiatrist. well just a psychiatrist, but one who's primary focus is sexuality. I am just good with that kinda stuff. So yeah.. thats how that fell.

as for the boy situation, since derek i haven't been serious with anyone. though i suppose looking back derek wasn't serious.. atleast it was only serious to me. Ive gotten over it. its been almost 9 months. Ive been dating [ well.. going out on dates ] nothing serious. Ive become picky. Ive also analyzed myself to death and decided I am scared of intimacy, or more so putting myself in the position to get hurt again. 8 months of games to find out your nothing to soemone doesn't leave you exactly ready to jump back in. Which is normal, or I think it is. Either way, Ive go out with 6 boys in the last to months. None of them worked out. I thought one would but.. i apparently can not read boys at all. Thing is, unlike my past i stopped lingering in them. I dont talk to 4 of them anymore. 1 i talk to cause he feels guilty and I just get bored and the other cause we just became friends. I however find myself very into a boy as of this moment. Dunno why. Suppose I cant fight feeling something for someone forever. Damn you hormones and functioning ovaries.

other than that my life seems to be work and school. yeah.. school, it'll be like another 4 years before I graduate cause my cheap ass parents are making me pay for it! Those sluts. Thats why I moved out. Haha, no. I moved out cause my house was crowded. my parents stopped caring what I did after highschool.. I figured atleast my aunt will ask every now and then if I am knocked up or something. She does by the way. Living over here is better. Ive already had a lil unplanned get together in the backyard where some crazy kids almost burned my house down.

i suppose for those of you who dont know, i dont talk to pj anymore. thats all you'll get out of me, best friends are allowed to grow to hate eachother.

I still have the rest of my gang and some new editions but from the size of my shopping ist for christmas, I am really not to close with anyone anymore.

that bitch otto, my other best friend is makeing up for forgetting my birthday saturday... my birthday was in july. Haha. either way, hes taking me out before my big girls night. Sleep over bitches!! I am really excited, like crazy lesbo excited. I suppose a night with nothing but ladies is something I need. All my friends are guys with like 4 girls. I seriously need some estrogen in my life. I am way to comfortable around the boys these days. Maybe thats why I am getting so much attention.. who knows. those day myspace boys worship me like I was crack on a stick.

ok this got long.

I love the majority of you. Maybe I'll write again.. or maybe in 2 weeks, i'll make this private and pretend I never came back....

xo moe moe

4 ♥•s| that girl has love

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